Često razmišljam o svemiru, svijetu, životu. No, u zadnje vrijeme me stalno hvataju misli kako one misli koje mislimo kad nismo napuseni su nekako nečiste, sve što sam ikad mislio i rekao nema logike i smisla. Definitvno trava smanjuje veličinu običnih malih životnih problema, razmišljamo nekako objektivnije, na razini cijelog svijeta, a ne na razini naših malih života i naših malih problemčića i potreba.
Evo jedan tekst koji sam napisao poslije pijenja mlijeko od Marijane (vjerojatno neke stvari u njemu nemaju smisla, ali to je većinom zato jer sam pisao bez stajanja, htio sam uć u fazu aktivne imaginacije, no nisam uspio jer su me prekinuli prijatelji) pisao sam na engleskom jer razmišljam većinom na engleskom:
Feelings. I believe feelings are what us keeps alive. But still, maybe they are all but an illusion, a chemical illusion on the mind. Why shouldn't they be considered as a drug? I mean, there are things in our body that our body can't reproduce. It can't reproduce let's say marijuana, but still, there are THC receptors in the brain that serve only to recognize THC. So why can't we accept marijuana as a natural thing? Back to illusion. I think I consider the spirit, and the mind, and the body, and time, and space a big illusion. Maybe we don't even exist, maybe we're just an illusion of our non-existing mind. Stuff in dreams can be proved to exist too, but still, they don't exist, atleast in this world. So, maybe this all is but a big shared dream of our non-existing minds. Maybe ~ we do exist, but we're now dreaming somewhere, in another world. What if we're all now in another place, and maybe there are different rules, maybe we're only thinking about certain situations, that gain the illusion that they are all leading one after another.
Beliefs. I choose to not to have any beliefs. Because if I had beliefs, there would be an ocean full of them, and the more beliefs I have the more contradictory they are. I mean, noone wants to be contradictory with our selves. I only give out possible explanations to myself, but I don't accept them as unchangeable, totally concrete. They are wobbly, they are changing, merging, combining. And I accept none of them.
Life. A big illusion again, because one can't prove life to itself, because oneself is life itself, and proving yourself to yourself is just plain stupid. If oneself is life itself, or atleast part of this big life, why wouldn't we all be one? Reincarnating every moment to another being and living other people's lifes at the same time living our own. Here, we must take the belief that time is an illusion. It is all presence, we're all this big counciousness sitting out in the nowhere, getting better every moment.
Evolution. The fact that this big counciousness is advancing every moment leads us to the fact that the whole universe is nothing but evolution, with a certain bit of acceleration, I mean, it took so many years for all the planets to form, then it took less 'time' for life to create, then even less time for biological evolution, and technology is now taking a really little amount of time to advance. This would lead to the assumption that one day the evolution is going to be so fast that we won't even notice it, leading to the total break of time. Our brain is what makes us feel time.. If we were an animal, we would probably feel time in a different way because some animals have shorter life time. But what if one day, out technology is so developed that we can live forever.. Would we then even feel time? Life time of a being and the feeling of time are anti-proportional, and if we had infinite life time, time wouldn't exist.