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<blockquote data-quote="esc4pe" data-source="post: 26159" data-attributes="member: 1196"><p>True Telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks </p><p>around the </p><p>U.K </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p></p><p>Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? </p><p>Customer: A white one... </p><p></p><p>Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. </p><p>Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? </p><p>Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck. </p><p>Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ... </p><p>Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... </p><p>it's still </p><p>on </p><p>my desk... sorry .... </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p></p><p>Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the </p><p>screen. </p><p>Customer: Your left or my left? </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p></p><p>Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? </p><p>Male customer: Hello... I can't print. </p><p>Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ... </p><p>Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm </p><p>not Bill </p><p>Gates damn it! </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p></p><p>Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try </p><p>it </p><p>says </p><p>'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it </p><p>in front </p><p>of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p>Customer: I have problems printing in red... </p><p>Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer? </p><p>Customer: No. </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p></p><p>Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am? </p><p>Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the </p><p>supermarket. </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p></p><p>Helpdesk: And now hit F8. </p><p></p><p>Customer: It's not working. </p><p></p><p>Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? </p><p></p><p>Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's </p><p>happening... </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p></p><p>Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. </p><p>Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? </p><p>Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. </p><p>Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. </p><p>Customer: OK </p><p>Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? </p><p>Customer: Yes </p><p>Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there </p><p>another </p><p>keyboard? </p><p>Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work! </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p></p><p>Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a </p><p>capital </p><p>letter </p><p>V as in Victor, the number 7. </p><p>Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p></p><p>A customer couldn't get on the internet. </p><p>Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password? </p><p>Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. </p><p>Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was? </p><p>Customer: Five stars. </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p></p><p>Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use? </p><p>Customer: Netscape. </p><p>Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program. </p><p>Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p></p><p>Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver </p><p>on my </p><p>computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears! </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p></p><p>Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you? </p><p>Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. </p><p>Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help </p><p>me? </p><p>Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem? </p><p>Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more </p><p>than 4 </p><p>hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me? </p><p></p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>- </p><p></p><p>Helpdesk: How may I help you? </p><p>Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. </p><p>Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem? </p><p>Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle </p><p>around </p><p>it?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="esc4pe, post: 26159, member: 1196"] True Telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the U.K ------------------------------------------------------------------- - Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Customer: A white one... Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck. Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ... Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .... ------------------------------------------------------------------- - Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? ------------------------------------------------------------------- - Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it! ------------------------------------------------------------------- - Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... ------------------------------------------------------------------- - Customer: I have problems printing in red... Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer? Customer: No. ------------------------------------------------------------------- - Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. ------------------------------------------------------------------- - Helpdesk: And now hit F8. Customer: It's not working. Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening... ------------------------------------------------------------------- - Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work! ------------------------------------------------------------------- - Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? ------------------------------------------------------------------- - A customer couldn't get on the internet. Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. ------------------------------------------------------------------- - Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. ------------------------------------------------------------------- - Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears! ------------------------------------------------------------------- - Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you? Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me? Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem? Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me? ------------------------------------------------------------------- - Helpdesk: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it? [/QUOTE]
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