Meni
Forumi
Nove poruke
Sve teme
Najnovije teme
Nove poruke
♫ Radio
Dnevnici
Dnevnici Vanjskog Uzgajanja
Dnevnici Unutrašnjeg Uzgajanja
Završeni Vanjski Dnevnici
Završeni Unutrašnji Dnevnici
Novo
Popularne teme
Nove poruke
Najnovije aktivnosti
Članovi
Trenutno prisutni
Forumi
Prijava
Registracija
Nove poruke
Sve teme
Najnovije teme
Nove poruke
Meni
Install the app
Install
Objavite odgovor
Forumi
Relaksacija i Razonoda
Putovanje na mentalnim talasima
Zanimljivo psihotično iskustvo sa travom [ENG]
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
Koristite zastareli pregledač. Možda neće pravilno prikazivati ove ili druge veb stranice.
Trebali biste nadograditi ili koristiti
alternativni pregledač
.
Poruka
<blockquote data-quote="3kokosa2" data-source="post: 53349" data-attributes="member: 2452"><p>So a couple of weeks ago I decided to try smoking some pot again.</p><p>But expecting another panic attack, I was very careful not to smoke</p><p>too much too soon. I smoked just a tiny little bit the first time</p><p>through a water bong I'd made out of a water bottle. Not even enough</p><p>to feel a buzz. But no signs of a panic attack after five minutes.</p><p>I tried a little more, more than the first time. After a few</p><p>minutes I did start to feel a buzz coming on. I started having some</p><p>connective, synchronistic experiences with the text I was reading on</p><p>my computer screen. It was the kingdom of God, which I guess can be</p><p>reached without pot, but how everything interconnected with my</p><p>thoughts on that first high was astonishing. But soon, I started to</p><p>come down from that, and started having darker thoughts, and sure</p><p>enough I felt a panic attack coming, but more slowly than before.</p><p>I walked to the bed, trembling, lying down and expecting the</p><p>worst. But it was milder than I thought. I went through it on my own</p><p>without making a sound, though it was scary.</p><p>I got high again the next night and had an even milder attack,</p><p>and you wouldn't even call it a panic attack. You'd just say I scared</p><p>myself half to death with my overactive imagination.</p><p>Well, it turns out, after looking back at everything, that just</p><p>as I had suspected during my hiatus from smoking pot, that it wasn't</p><p>the marijuana that caused the problem. It was the ideas I took on as</p><p>fact during my formative years. One of my "fondest" memories is a</p><p>scene taking place in a fundamentalist Pentecostal Christian church. I</p><p>mean the hard-core no TV-watching, no makeup on the women, no long</p><p>hair on the men variety of pentecostal believers. The preacher was up</p><p>on the pulpit screaming with rage that we all deserve nothing but</p><p>Hell, and that we all deserve to go there and burn in an everlasting</p><p>fire seven times hotter than any fire on Earth...unless we accept</p><p>Jesus and his crucifixion on the cross as payment for our commission</p><p>of sins.</p><p>During my life, I'd come to adopt my own beliefs about God. I</p><p>wasn't willing to accept what preachers were telling me about God. I</p><p>thought that if we were created in God's image, then we must also</p><p>desire the same things that God desires. Safety, comfort, and lots of</p><p>pleasure and bliss. Why would God create life to experience an</p><p>eternal struggle to reach an impossible goal? No, I believed it had</p><p>to be simpler--that God created life to move quickly from birth to</p><p>godhood. I have never believed in reincarnation. I think we are</p><p>created as souls, have a temporary existence in a reality-space held</p><p>together by God and kept from complete destruction, and as our own</p><p>soul learns about reality and how to manipulate the way we perceive</p><p>reality, works to pull you away from the collective and create a new</p><p>universe for you to exist in forever -- eternal life, all there for</p><p>your entertainment and pleasure, in whatever form that takes for</p><p>you--and anything you can imagine is possible.</p><p>Naturally, I then had in my mind during the first panic attack,</p><p>two completely opposite styles of gods. One was a dickhead asshole</p><p>totalitarian dictator motherfucker, and the other was an</p><p>all-permissive God whose motto is, "If you can imagine it, it's not a</p><p>sin." The war was on in my mind to see who was going to be the</p><p>victor. This went on for some time from 1997 to 2001 and finally I</p><p>stopped thinking about it much until March 6, 2008. Then that's when</p><p>I started smoking again was about five weeks after that.</p><p>So what I'm actually saying, after all that extra wordage, is</p><p>that marijuana has actually FIXED my "mental problem." It exposed</p><p>that deep-rooted wrapping of fear around my soul -- fear of</p><p>everything...fear that everything I was doing was ensuring my eternal</p><p>damnation. While that used to be a real terror in my highs, now I</p><p>think of going to Hell and I just laugh about it. The prescription</p><p>pharmaceuticals those doctors tried to make me take certainly wasn't</p><p>doing what pot did. Those pills like risperdol and chlorpromazine</p><p>shut the mind down where it can't work all that crap out like it's</p><p>designed to do -- weeding out the crap from the mushrooms, so to</p><p>speak. Once you weed out the crap, and all you have left is</p><p>mushrooms, you're on a natural, controlled shroom trip without the</p><p>shrooms, and the things you learn, you retain because you've built the</p><p>knowledge and understanding on a foundation, and not jumped over the</p><p>foundation to get to the mentally pleasurable stuff, which disappears</p><p>after the shrooms wear off.</p><p>Now when I get high, I can literally let my whole mind relax and</p><p>completely empty itself to where I'm not really even aware that I have</p><p>a body, but I'm still aware. I could never do that before. My</p><p>thoughts would wander randomly, this way and that. Just a big jumble.</p><p>Now I don't think about anything unless I want to, and so when I do</p><p>think about something, I can think more clearly about it since my head</p><p>is less of a mess.</p><p>So there it is. I guess that's probably true of many of you out</p><p>there... maybe you weren't subjected to the fire and brimstone version</p><p>of Hell like I was, so you have been able to enjoy pot without going</p><p>through any life-changing problems. Or maybe you've been exposed to</p><p>it, but perhaps haven't explored that part of your mind yet?</p><p>So I now wonder if I've been fucked up my whole life up until</p><p>this point, and now I can finally see the world the way everyone else</p><p>sees it. Or I don't know.... The world seems a lot different after</p><p>clearing out all those old fears of Hell.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="3kokosa2, post: 53349, member: 2452"] So a couple of weeks ago I decided to try smoking some pot again. But expecting another panic attack, I was very careful not to smoke too much too soon. I smoked just a tiny little bit the first time through a water bong I'd made out of a water bottle. Not even enough to feel a buzz. But no signs of a panic attack after five minutes. I tried a little more, more than the first time. After a few minutes I did start to feel a buzz coming on. I started having some connective, synchronistic experiences with the text I was reading on my computer screen. It was the kingdom of God, which I guess can be reached without pot, but how everything interconnected with my thoughts on that first high was astonishing. But soon, I started to come down from that, and started having darker thoughts, and sure enough I felt a panic attack coming, but more slowly than before. I walked to the bed, trembling, lying down and expecting the worst. But it was milder than I thought. I went through it on my own without making a sound, though it was scary. I got high again the next night and had an even milder attack, and you wouldn't even call it a panic attack. You'd just say I scared myself half to death with my overactive imagination. Well, it turns out, after looking back at everything, that just as I had suspected during my hiatus from smoking pot, that it wasn't the marijuana that caused the problem. It was the ideas I took on as fact during my formative years. One of my "fondest" memories is a scene taking place in a fundamentalist Pentecostal Christian church. I mean the hard-core no TV-watching, no makeup on the women, no long hair on the men variety of pentecostal believers. The preacher was up on the pulpit screaming with rage that we all deserve nothing but Hell, and that we all deserve to go there and burn in an everlasting fire seven times hotter than any fire on Earth...unless we accept Jesus and his crucifixion on the cross as payment for our commission of sins. During my life, I'd come to adopt my own beliefs about God. I wasn't willing to accept what preachers were telling me about God. I thought that if we were created in God's image, then we must also desire the same things that God desires. Safety, comfort, and lots of pleasure and bliss. Why would God create life to experience an eternal struggle to reach an impossible goal? No, I believed it had to be simpler--that God created life to move quickly from birth to godhood. I have never believed in reincarnation. I think we are created as souls, have a temporary existence in a reality-space held together by God and kept from complete destruction, and as our own soul learns about reality and how to manipulate the way we perceive reality, works to pull you away from the collective and create a new universe for you to exist in forever -- eternal life, all there for your entertainment and pleasure, in whatever form that takes for you--and anything you can imagine is possible. Naturally, I then had in my mind during the first panic attack, two completely opposite styles of gods. One was a dickhead asshole totalitarian dictator motherfucker, and the other was an all-permissive God whose motto is, "If you can imagine it, it's not a sin." The war was on in my mind to see who was going to be the victor. This went on for some time from 1997 to 2001 and finally I stopped thinking about it much until March 6, 2008. Then that's when I started smoking again was about five weeks after that. So what I'm actually saying, after all that extra wordage, is that marijuana has actually FIXED my "mental problem." It exposed that deep-rooted wrapping of fear around my soul -- fear of everything...fear that everything I was doing was ensuring my eternal damnation. While that used to be a real terror in my highs, now I think of going to Hell and I just laugh about it. The prescription pharmaceuticals those doctors tried to make me take certainly wasn't doing what pot did. Those pills like risperdol and chlorpromazine shut the mind down where it can't work all that crap out like it's designed to do -- weeding out the crap from the mushrooms, so to speak. Once you weed out the crap, and all you have left is mushrooms, you're on a natural, controlled shroom trip without the shrooms, and the things you learn, you retain because you've built the knowledge and understanding on a foundation, and not jumped over the foundation to get to the mentally pleasurable stuff, which disappears after the shrooms wear off. Now when I get high, I can literally let my whole mind relax and completely empty itself to where I'm not really even aware that I have a body, but I'm still aware. I could never do that before. My thoughts would wander randomly, this way and that. Just a big jumble. Now I don't think about anything unless I want to, and so when I do think about something, I can think more clearly about it since my head is less of a mess. So there it is. I guess that's probably true of many of you out there... maybe you weren't subjected to the fire and brimstone version of Hell like I was, so you have been able to enjoy pot without going through any life-changing problems. Or maybe you've been exposed to it, but perhaps haven't explored that part of your mind yet? So I now wonder if I've been fucked up my whole life up until this point, and now I can finally see the world the way everyone else sees it. Or I don't know.... The world seems a lot different after clearing out all those old fears of Hell. [/QUOTE]
Verifikacija
Objavite odgovor
Forumi
Relaksacija i Razonoda
Putovanje na mentalnim talasima
Zanimljivo psihotično iskustvo sa travom [ENG]
Top
Bottom